Anata wa totemo sugosugiru

First person (besides kelv, andy, jase, michael, and noel) to tell me what the subject line means wins the prize. speaking of prizes, my bro andy won every single one yesterday. the rest of you are all slackers.

Streamlined Cows:
so the reason that streamlined cows are important to the future of america is simple. who wouldnt want streamlined cows? first of all, they are faster than your average bovine. and according to einstein, the faster an object moves, the longer it exists in relation to everything else. This means that each Streamlined Cow could produce 1.000005 times as much milk and natural gas in the average lifetime. and while this might not seem like much, if all the cows in america were streamlined, each year, american farmers would produce on average 500 Million gallons more milk, and gas companies would harvest more methane, nitrogen, etc. Second, cow racing is increasing in popularity. last year cow race attendance double to 18 avid spectators. the streamlined cows would have a clear advantage in such races, and with the added excitement that comes with increased speed, the cow racing business would increase in popularity. spectators would flock to the tracks, and they would in all likelihood get some tv coverage on ESPN and the concession companies would increase profits. as 4% of the american population works for concession companies and nearly 5% work in sports entertainment, 9% of all americans would profit from streamlining cows. this would obviously help the economy. We have to think about the economics of the future as well. we are rapidly depleting our natural resources, such as gasoline and oil. cars will soon become too costly for the average american to afford, and we will need more nature-friendly and cheap ways to operate machinery and vehicles. Natural gas has been proven to be nature friendly and if we bred more cows (that happen to live longer), we would produce ample amounts of natural gas that we could use to operate these necessities. clearly we need streamlined cows, and if i am elected i will ensure the genetic manipulation necessary to achieve this great milestone in technology and society. Thank you.

ok, just a random thought inspired by camble christensen. more to come later.