Another one

Hello, I'm going to have to keep this short, as i dont have a job yet. and my mom is doing what she can to keep my dad from finding out that i wake up at 11. my dad really really wants me to work, and i really really dont want to do anything, so its a constant battle. but i called some people and did some applications. we'll see where that goes. I take the steps to appease my dad, and then one day i get slammed with a job. well i know i wont be working for any libraries here! I went to the Garden City library because its about 3 minutes from my house and they said they werent hiring but they knew the Boise Public Library was wanting more help, so i drove the 20 minutes or whatever to get there, and I asked the info desk for an application. They told me that they only do online applications. So i got on one of the library computers (which i swear were built before 1990) and by the time i finally found their website (not the one the librarian told me to go to) i found out that the computers did not have Acrobat Reader, and so I couldnt print or even look at the application. So it took me an hour with the forty mnute round trip (through traffic) and the twenty wasted minutes on their junktastic computers to get no job. I was thrilled. And I decided that while I was there I would try and find a good book, but the library isnt quite as big as I remember it. I really really miss the BYU library. Its my friend. Boise wants to kill me.

So, anyway... Today is Greenery Day, Moment of Laughter Day, and National Shrimp Scampi Day. Good times, good times...

Happy Birthday to:
Henri Poincar, 1854
William Randolph Hearst, 1863
Thomas Beecham, 1879
Duke Ellington, 1899
Harold Samuel Shapero, 1920
Cornelis de Jager, 1921
Walter Kempowski, 1929
Raymond Earl Hill, 1933
April Stevens, 1936 (name that band)
Klaus Voorman, 1942 (He was in Manfred Mann, the group that did The Mighty Quinn. pretty lame song, eh? at least it comes with memories)
Dale Earnhardt, 1953
Jerry Seinfeld, 1955
Alana Blahoski, 1974 (I really like girls that play hockey. or ice skate in general)

Happy Deathday to:
John Houghton, 1535
Charles-Julien Brianchon, 1864 (Brianchon's Theorem was named after him. probably because he named it)
Gavrilo Princip, 1918 (if anyone can tell me who Princip murdered without looking it up, you can earn a place on the Stud List)
Wilhelm Maler, 1976 (His name reminded me of Mahler, and then i noticed he was a composer and then i had to look at it for a minute before i could convince myself that he is in fact not Mahler.)
Alfred Joseph Hitchcock, 1980
Erik Erikson, 1994 (hes an anthropologist. i respect that)

And now is the part I enjoy most:
Battle at Monte Levunium, 1091 (tell me who was fighting, and you win the prize!)
Joan of Arc leads Orleans in defense (and defeat) of British, 1429
China occupies Taiwan, 1661
French fleet stopped Britain from seizing the Cape of Good Hope, 1781
Rubber is patented, 1813
King Haakon & govt flees to England, 1940
Adolf Hitler marries Eva Braun, 1945
President Nixon said he will release edited tapes made in White House, 1974
Peter Sutcliffe admits he is the Yorkshire Ripper, 1981 (murdered 13 women)
Destruction of Berlin Wall begins, 1990
"Candide" premiers, 1997 (OK, WATCH/LISTEN TO/READ IT ALREADY)

And im going to skip the quotes today, so that i dont have to look for them. i only get a few per day or else i run out, and ive been cheating and going over my limit lately, so maybe tomorrow i'll do some good ones.

I'm going to start typing up the Stud List first ed. tonight, so if you have any names for submission, this is your last chance. get them to me today, or forever hold your peace. That is all.
B'arris

Stuff

Hi everyone. I'm listening to some Vivaldi right now, and I think everyone else should be too. If everyone listened to Vivaldi every day, the world would be a happier place. So go to! Also I think everyone should also listen to Leonard Bernstein's "Candide". And everyone should read Candide too. (it's by Voltaire, the coolest guy I've never met) yah. And I have downloaded 64 songs in the last 24 hours. Its nice having cable internet and no firewall.

Today is Astronomy Day (I PASSED!!!!! D IS FOR DIPLOMA!!!!), Great Poetry Reading Day, and Kiss Your Mate Day. *sigh*

Happy Birthday to:
Edward IV, 1442 (I was reading about this guy last night. I aslo added three new people to my Stud List. Check out The Venerable Bede)
James Monroe, 1758
Tobias M Carel Asser, 1838
Joseph Dunninger, 1892 (a.k.a. The Amazing Dunninger. My goal is to someday be known as "The Amazing Barris")
Harper Lee, 1926
Saddam Hussein, 1937 (Anti-Stud List. What is the opposite of stud anyway?)
Steve Khan, 1947 (check out his jazz)
Jay Leno, 1950
Evguenni Rochtchin, 1962 (hes cool cuz he plays hockey for Belarus)
Nate Richert, 1978 (he plays Harvey on Sabrina the Teenage Witch. I don't idolize or love him, I just report birthdays)

Happy Deathday to:
William Wallace, 1843 (the mathematician, not THE William Wallace)
Bernito Mussolini, 1945
Anton Pancake, 1960 (This guy is interesting, I havent decided if I like him or not. feel free to influence my decision)
Francis Bacon, 1992 (the painter, not THE Francis Bacon)
Giles Grangier, 1996

And things happened:
Maryland becomes 7th state to ratify constitution, 1788
1st performance of Antonin Dvorak's overture "Carneval", 1892 (I was listening to Dvorak yesterday, and then I was checking out his biography. apparently he was very humble, which I admire)
1st animated cartoon electric sign displayed, 1937
Muhammad Ali refuses induction into army & stripped of boxing title, 1967 (what do you all think of conscientious objection anyway?)
11 year-old Mary Bell strangles 4 year-old, 1968
Christopher Boyce convicted for selling secrets, 1977
NJ Devils set all time playoff mark for penalty minutes, 1988
Iran protests sale of "Satanic Verses" by Salman Rushdie, 1989
NY Islanders beat Wash Caps 4 to 1 in playoffs, Caps Dale Hunter attacks Pierre Turgeon after scoring, in hockey's worst cheap shot, 1993 (how does it compare with the bertuzzi incident?)

The current "best political website" is www.opensecrets.org I haven't actually checked it out, but the readers digest speaks highly of it. The best public restroom in America is the third floor womens restroom of the Grand Casino Biloxi in Mississippi. In case you ever want a really good bathroom.

And the quotes for today:
Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend.
Lucy Liu

Fear cripples the soul, so you just have to fight it.
Diane Keaton

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.
Woody Allen (1935 - )
First secure an independent income, then practice virtue.
Greek Proverb
like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Jerome K. Jerome (1859 - 1927)
Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.
Evan Davis
I hope everyone is having a wonderful day. I made lasagna today, and i may have used the wrong kind of cheese. I put four different kinds of cheese on it, and i think the problem was in the Asiago. I know that I like Ramano, Parmesan and Mozarella, and I don't know what else it could be. oh well. Im probably the only one who could tell anyway. If my family doesnt like it then they can microwave some burritos or something. I know Megan liked it, and that's good enough for me. And thats really all I've done all day. Oh, and downloading/listening to Dvorak and Ravel, etc. This is one thing I really missed while I was at BYU. I didn't bring any classical music with me, and there wasn't much selection on iTunes. I was so distraught over this that I actually bought a cd online and had it shipped to myself. It was the first cd I ever bought. I'm not really into that kind of thing, so that was a major step for me. And I listened to that cd over and over and over. I listened to it 6 times the day it came in the mail, and I loved that cd. And now I have more than I could ever listen to in a single day. My family has this big collection of about 100 cds of all classical music (and they all have cool abstract artwork on the covers, which I also really like) and so I'm going to copy those and I'm going to burn onto cd everything that I've downloaded. And then I will be fully prepared to live a perfectly happy life. It doesnt even matter what happens to me, if I have good music on, I can handle it. Oh and if anyone can tell me the name of the composer or the tune name of "Be Still My Soul" without looking it up, there is a huge reward for you. And if you get both at once, then you'll make the Stud List. So yah. If you've always wanted me to tell you that you're my bestest friend, this is your chance to earn all of my respect. Well, my mom just said no more computer until I try to get a job. So I'm off, have a good day everyone. Good luck in all your endeavors.
B'arris

Blah, blah, blah

Hey all, I did pretty much nothing all day yesterday. I made the lawn look nice and other than that, I just kind of loafed about. Today is Babe Ruth Day and Tell a Story Day (awww... now I miss all my bedtime stories with mallory et al.)

Happy Birthday to:
Johann Adam Reincken, 1623
Ferdinand Philipp Joseph Lobkowitz, 1724
Edward Gibbon, 1737 (STUD OF ALL STUDS!!!)
Ulysses S Grant, 1822
Edward Whymper, 1840 (first man to climb the Matterhorn) (which is also the coolest ride in Disneyland, one week, my brother and I rode it approximately 40 times)
Frederick Rand Weissman, 1912
Doug Sheehan, 1949

Happy Deathday to:
Willem, bishop of Utrecht, 1076 (this "bishop" murdered Earl Floris I)
Ferdinand Magellan, 1521 (killed by Phillipino natives)
Zebulon M Pike, 1813 (remember Pike's peak?)
Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1882 (jerk)
Julius Sterling Morton, 1902 (founder of Arbor Day)
Gordon Armstrong, 1959 (inventor of the baby incubator, is that worthy of Stud List appelllation?)
Phil King, 1972 (Blue Oyster Cult band member shot in the head while gambling)
Mohammed Daud, 1978

And some things that happened today in history:
Pope Julius II excommunicates Italian state of Venice, 1509
British Parliament passes Tea Act, 1773
Fire destroys half of Charleston, 1838
West Virginia secedes from Virginia after Virginia secedes from US, 1861
Cornell University (Ithaca NY) is chartered, 1865 (I know a guy who's going there this fall for graduate school)
Romeo et Juliette premiers, 1867 (I seem to remember playing the overture once...)
Sierra Leone declares independence from UK, 1961
Dmitri Shostakovitch completes his 2nd cello concert, 1966 (ahh. Shostakovich)
Accident at nuclear reactor Willow Island, WV, 1978
Nolan Ryan becomes strikeout king (3,509), 1983
7th longest NHL game: NJ Devils beat Buffalo Sabres (125 min 43 sec), 1994
I got my first cavity filled, I got all of my shots, I listened to Mahler's 2nd Symphony (again), I talked to brooklyn and marc online, I ate some soup, and I went to the library (actually the library part hasnt happened yet, but I have to say that it did so that my mom will have to let me go. I wouldn't want to have lied to everyone :), 2004


And today's quotes:

Anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to rule others.
Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989)
Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
Unknown
I was born not knowing and have had only a little time to change that here and there.
Richard Feynman (1918 - 1988)
God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.
Paul Valery (1871 - 1945)

I never told my religion nor scrutinize that of another. I never attempted to make a convert nor wished to change another's creed. I have judged of others' religion by their lives, for it is from our lives and not from our words that our religion must be read. By the same test must the world judge me.
Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) <== STUD

I never have found the perfect quote. At best I have been able to find a string of quotations which merely circle the ineffible idea I seek to express.

Caldwell O'Keefe
A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.
Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962)
Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.
Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809 - 1894)
Small minds are much distressed by little things. Great minds see them all but are not upset by them.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)
A little and a little, collected together, become a great deal; the heap in the barn consists of single grains, and drop and drop makes an inundation.
Saadi (1184 - 1291)
Hey I hope everyone is having a good day, and that you are all having more fun than I am. Its noon, and I have yet to do anything. Email me so that I'm not bored, ok?
B'arris

fish out of water

Wow, so yesterday I got to spend a lot of time doing real family things. It was weird. I ate leftovers, stepped on little kids in the church, I got to listen to my mom play the piano after everyone else went to bed, I went home teaching with my dad and got attacked by the two youngest kids (their whole family is very much into fighting. swords and otherwise), I took a walk with my dad, and met the family that moved into my ward while I was gone, I went to choir practice and experienced having room to breathe and sing at the same time, I read two chapters of Mosiah, and other good times. Oh, and how I thought that I wasn't going to be able to randomly sing hymns all day anymore, I met this girl whose family moved into my ward while she was at BYU and she likes singing a lot too, and doesnt have anything to do all summer. so shes coming over tonight to sing with me, oh happy! But I need to get a job, not sing all the time. So I'm going to call a couple of people today or tomorrow and get something lined up. And then I will lose my summer, and I will be miserable, but I will make a whole lot more money than if I were to not work.

Today is Hug an Australian Day, Pretzel Day, and Richter Scale Day. This month is also National Soft Pretzel Month, so today is a special bonus double holiday. or something. And today is also the day that The Fitz left us. She's going to have the time of her life now. Good luck to you. And today is the first day that Scott Bowen hasn't gotten one of these emails. He was on my list from the beginning, but he has to go on a mission now. Good luck to you.

Happy Birthday to the following:
William Shakespeare, 1564
Pasquale Paoli, 1726
Joan M Kemper, 1776
Artemus Ward, 1834
Rudolf Hess, 1894
Charles Richter, 1900
William "Count" Basie, 1904
Arnoldus Christian Vlok van Wyk, 1916
James Holt, 1922 (I like this guy, look him up if you have a minute)
Carol Burnett, 1933
Sarah Tueting, 1976 (look her up too!!!)

Happy Deathday to:
Daniel Defoe, 1731 (STUD LIST)
Karl Siegmund von Seckendorff, 1785
John Wilkes Booth, 1865
May McAvoy, 1984
William "Count" Basie, 1984 (STUD LIST, died on his 80th b-day)
Lucille Ball, 1989
Peng Zhen, 1997 (mayor of Beijing)

And some fun, not so fun, and outright horrible things that happened today in history:
Frederick II grants bishops sovereign rights, 1220 (bad idea, man)
Copernicus makes his 1st observations of Saturn, 1514 (GO NIC!!)
First British colony lands at Cape Henry, VA, 1607
Jews are expelled from Brazil, 1654 (this is what I mean by outright horrible)
Smallpox vaccination 1st administrated, 1721
1st Russian university opens, 1755
1st motion pictures shown in Hawaii, 1906
H Shapley & H D Curtis hold "great debate" on nature of nebulae,1920 (I actually remember this!)
Dmitri Shostakovitch completes his 4th Symphony, 1936 (STUD!)
Last horse race at Havre de Grace Track in MD is run, 1950 (all things Maryland remind me of Liz)
Great Britain performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site, 1980 (why don't they use their own test site?)
Longest jump by a jet boat is set at 120', 1980
Largest US bank robbery (Tucson Ariz), more than $33 million stolen, 1981
4th reactor at Chernobyl USSR explodes, 31 die, 1986 (I was totally just talking to A-Dogg about this last Thursday! crazy, no?)
126 die in a (6.9) earthquake in China, 1990 (Happy Richter Scale Day...)
Ozzie Smith steals his 500th base, 1992
Taiwan Airbus A-300 crashes at Nagoya Japan, 262 killed, 1994

And today's quotes:
My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
Errol Flynn (1909 - 1959)
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
George Wald (1906 - )
I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
Mahatma Gandhi (1869 - 1948)
I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
Robert McCloskey, State Department spokesman
An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.
Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890 - 1969)
Look for the ridiculous in everything, and you will find it.
Jules Renard (1864 - 1910)
With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
Steven Weinberg (1933 - )
...I would also add that religion helps quite a bit with evil people doing good things...
Thats all for today, I don't want to exhaust my resources. I have a limited number of quotes, and I think I may have already repeated one or two. Oh well.

Well, I dont really have anything to do all day, if you're not busy either, sign on to messenger of some sort. My MSN name is GreasyHippie@hotmail.com and my AIM name is SimplifiedPlum. I like talking to anyone and everyone, so get on and i'll talk to you. Well, have a good day everyone. Peace out.
B'arris

First Daily Email from Boise

Hey all. i added some new people to my email list, welcome! if you dont want any more, just let me know, i wont be offended. and also let me know if you want these sent to a different email address or something like that. i have two or more email addresses for several of you, and its easy enough to fix. also if you know anyone else who might enjoy these, let me know that too. and also, 17th warders, please give my email address to all your friends, as im not on the list and i may lose contact with almost all of you now because of that.

So i didnt write Friday or Saturday for reasons having to do with me cleaning/driving. but here i am now writing an email in the middle of the night (well for most of us its still the middle of the day, but my family is in bed!). Friday was Lovers Day, Take A Chance Day, and World Laboratory Animal Day. Saturday was Arbor Day (i bet all the Oregonians knew all about that one), and Pig In A Blanket Day. And today is National Zucchini Bread Day and East Meets West Day. Too bad in my case, i just said goodbye to everyone i knew from the East, so really its just East Remeets East and West Remeets West Day. pity, some of my favorite people are from Maryland and Virginia and other far away lands. And to prepare you for tomorrow, so that you can start your celebrations early, Monday is Hug An Australian Day (missionaries going to Australia count too), National Pretzel Day, and Richter Scale Day.

Yesterday was the birthday of Barbra Streisand and Chipper Jones and Kelly Clarkson and Benjamin Whorf (he had a lot of crazy ideas about the Hopi Indians and their view of the world. he also did a lot with linguistics, but mostly i think he was crazy)

Todays birthdays are:
Oliver Cromwell, 1599
Guillaume Coustou Sr., 1677
Giovanni Marco Rutini, 1723
Peter Il'yich Tchaikovsky (Stud List candidate), 1840
Guglielmo Marconi (Definitely Stud List Material), 1874 (inventor of the radio, Stud List candidate)
Ella Fitzgerald, 1918 (singer of the "Is It Live Or Is It Memorex" jingle)
Marre, 1920 ("Reformer Of The Bar")
Bertrand Tavernier, 1941

Happy Deathday to:
Ratherius of Verona, 974
Don Juan Alvarez, 1607
Nicolas J Pelletier, 1792 (first man ever to be guillotined!)
Louis-Sebastien Mercier, 1813
Frederick "William" Herschel, 1822 (astronomer... shudder, shudder)
Max Drischner, 1971
Art Fleming, 1995 (Jeopardy host)

And things that happened today in history:
Thimble patented, 1684
Paul Julius Reuter uses 40 pigeons to carry stock market prices, 1850
Ground broken for Suez Canal, 1859
Battle of Lavaca, 1861
Battle of New Orleans, 1862
Battle of Marks' Mill, 1864
Tokyo opens for foreign trade, 1867 (Perry really screwed things up over there)
Latest date for measurable snow in NYC (3"), 1875
Sigmund Freud opens practice, 1886 (Freud really screwed some things up too)
Spain sends 20,000 soldiers to Morocco , 1927
Buddy, a German Shepherd, becomes first guide dog for the blind, 1928
Red army completely surrounds Berlin, 1945
Drunk driver kills 10 children in Asse Belgium, 1966
NFL moves goal posts & adopts sudden-death playoff, 1974
Wings disbands, 1984 (i like the term "disbands" referring to a band...)
Mario Lemuix (Stud List candidate) ties NHL playoff record of 4 goals in 1st period, 1989
Boris Yeltsin elected, 1993
14" of snow in Southern Calif, 1994
Ken Griffey Jr hits his 250th HR, 1997

Ok, so for everyone who is still not familiar with the Stud List, its a big fatty list of everyone i can think of who is/was extremely influential to humanity, such as Copernicus (just for you, Liz!), William Wallace, Sidhartha, Mohammed, etc. so i keep track of all these people and ive got about 550 or 600 so far, and im looking for more, so if you have any ideas of people i may not have thought of yet, let me know. Im going to put out a master list someday soon, hopefully by the end of April, i might put it up on my new website (which i have under my name, but have not started working on yet. i dont really know what im doing, maybe if some of you have experience, or would like to do it for me, let me know.) This list is uber-roxxorz, i cant wait to finalize it, i just dont have the time. i dont have any performers on the list yet, as ive been mostly focusing on military and political leaders. so far i have a few scientists, but not many, and i have very very few musicians, artists, and writers. so send me your input and i'll most likely put them on The List.

I have decided that there are far too many English majors. sitting through my bro. in law's graduation (yes i did go to it, i dont really hate my family like some of you probably think) was quite tedious because it was long and it was all because of the insane number of English majors. there were only about 20 in Linguistics and only 2 in English Language. That will be nice when i graduate, i imagine. if i ever graduate. i dont know that i will. even though ELang is only like 45 credits or something absurdly easy like that, i will end up taking a bunch of foreign language classes and lots of humanities and music and i will get sidetracked and i will probably go to school until im 35. but at least i will enjoy my time at byu. and i will pay dearly for it too. but thats ok.

There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum.
Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - )
It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.
William G. McAdoo (1863 - 1941)
Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons.
R. Buckminster Fuller (1895 - 1983)
The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)
whoa, i just realized that today i woke up in a bed for the first time in over a month. i stayed at my grandparents house and had the worlds best waffles for breakfast (yes, they were much much better than anything the cannon center ever offered) and i had scrambled eggs (made with actual eggs!) (and cheese!) (and the salt and pepper was cooked in for best flavor!) and then i went to a volleyball tournament featuring a girl from my home ward, and then i proceeded to ride back to boise with my parents. i listened to four cds on the way home, they were Five Iron Frenzy's "Proof That The Youth Are Revolting", The Notwist's "Neon Golden", Cat Stevens' "Greatest Hits", and a Jimmy Eat World mix. Good times, good times. And im sure you all care... and when i got home, i emailed and instant messaged and thats really about it. how very dull. next week i will probably be doing real things though, im not really a loser. i think. but in any case, im going to bed now. have a good Sunday, everyone.

Please give me your extra boxes

Wow, so all of my favorite people are gone/leaving this week, and its making me feel not so good. i already miss kevin and nathan and they just left less than half an hour ago. so anyway, today is Girl Scout Leader Day, Earth Day and National Jelly Bean Day. maybe jelly beans will make me feel better, theyre hecka cheap in cosmos. if they still have any, that is. Tomorrow is Lovers Day (someone please help me celebrate this one), Take a Chance Day, and World Labratory Day Next week is the start of Scoop the Poop Week, thought someone might get a kick out of that one. and some of the month long observances that i forgot to mention earlier (and some that i found today) are Couple Appreciation Month (im interested in celebrating this one too, give me a call), International Twit Award Month, Month of the Young Child, Month of the Military Child, National Kite Month, National Poetry Month, National Soft Pretzel Month, Soy Foods Month, and a whole bunch of stupid ones. awareness of this, awareness of that... very tedious to sort through. so those are just the best 25%. and in case you are wondering they are all legitimate congressional acts, i check them out before i report. because if i dont, and someone finds a flaw in my email, i lose all credibility and then i will never aspire to be Student Body President, or king of the train depot, or even President-King of the United States.

Todays birthdays are:
Giuseppe Torelli, 1658
Alexander McDowell McCook, 1831
Nikolai Lenin, 1870
John van Capel, 1884 (oldest man in the Netherlands, died in 1992)
J(ulius) Robert Oppenheimer, 1904
James Stirling, 1926 (Scottish D-day-parachutist/architect/knight)
Aaron Spelling, 1928 (producer of Charlie's Angels etc)
Robert Dickson, 1931
Siem Vroom, 1931 (actor in A Bridge Too Far and others)
Jack Nicholson, 1937
Dectuplets from Bacacay Brazil, 1947 (8 males & 2 females)
Carole Drinkwater, 1948
Ryan Stiles, 1959 (funny funny man!)
Zarley Zalapski, 1968 (go flames...)
George Williams, 1969 (catcher for the A's, just for you, Brooklyn!)

Happy Deathday to:
Eleonora Plantagenet, 1355 (for anyone who doesnt know this about me, i hate (i mean HATE) the Plantagenet line, and im glad they are all dead now!)
Bartolommeo Ammanati, 1592
Georg Stiernhielm, 1672
Hans A baron von Abschatz, 1699
Francis Washburn, 1865
Melville Bell Grosvenor, 1982 (president of the National Geographic Society, thats my goal)
Huey Newton, 1989 (Black Panther leader, also my goal)
Richard Milhous Nixon, 1994 (haha, milhous...)
Erma Bombeck, 1996

And the things that happened today in history:
Supernova Crab nebula last seen by the naked (Gasp! unaided) eye, 1056
Pedro Alvarez Cabral discovers Brazil & claims it for Portugal, 1500
Henry VIII ascended to throne of England, 1509
France declares on Spain, 1521
1st slave revolt occurs in SC, 1526
Treaty of Saragosa, 1529
Lord protector Cromwell disbands English parliament, 1659
Pres Washington attends opening of Rickett's, 1st circus in US, 1793
Gioacchino Rossini (12) performs in Imola, 1804
Thomas Stevens starts 1st bike trip around world (2 yrs 9 mos), 1884
Babe Ruth's 1st professional game (as a pitcher) is a 6-hit 6-0 win, 1914
Stanley Cup: Toronto Maple Leafs beat Detroit Red Wings, 4 games to 3, 1945 (HAHAHAH!!! DIE RED WINGS, DIE!!!)
Congress orders all US coins bear motto "In God We Trust", 1955 (on the 91st anniversary of the first printing of the motto on a US coin)
1st human eye transplant performed, 1969
1st Earth Day held internationally to conserve natural resources, 1970
Flat Earth celebrated, 1970 (weirdos)
Ingmar Bergman leaves Sweden due to taxation, 1976 (one of my favorite directors ever)
NJ Devil Patrik Sundstrom ties NHL playoff record of 8 pts in a playoff game (hat trick & 5 assists) in 10-4 rout over the Capitals, 1988 (holy cow!)
Nolan Ryan strikes out his 5,000th batter, 1989
Holocaust Museum dedicated in Washington DC, 1992
Candid Camera creator Allen Funt suffers a stroke, 1993
largest lollipop, weighing 3,011 pounds, made in DENMARK!!!, 1994

Kim says she loves and will miss everyone!

And today's quotes:

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.
Dick Cavett (1936 - )

An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.
Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)

Would those of you in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
John Lennon (1940 - 1980)

Books have the same enemies as people: fire, humidity, animals, weather, and their own content.
Paul Valery (1871 - 1945)

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.
David Dunham

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
Evelyn Waugh (1903 - 1966) (thats why i am always early to everything, i have NOTHING else to do!)

Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.
Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809 - 1892)

Proof is the idol before whom the pure mathematician tortures himself.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944)

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Edward De Bono

No legacy is so rich as honesty.
William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616)
My bowels are sending me some pretty ominous messages.
Canada Longmuir (1985 - )

I hope you enjoyed those, because i enjoyed finding them and reading the ones that im keeping to myself. hey its 11:30 and i have only had two real meals in the last three days, so i think im going to risk the wrath of Arch-Nemesis Shirley and her Nefarious Sidekick Doug. And my family is coming tomorrow morning, so no worries if i get kicked out for good :) Well im off, have a good day all!

9 down, 0 to go!!

Another email from brian, isnt it great? im going to the MOA today around 4 PM if any of you are interested in coming (sorry non-Provoites). im really hoping to get some support today. i may end up just going alone today if nobody comes with, but its always more fun with more people, so im extending my hand one last time before i start hitting people with it. so, im done with finals, now. so im happy. no more.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Of course, so does falling down
a flight of stairs.

Never say die. I've tried, and it doesn't actually make people die.

Never underestimate your ability to overestimate your ability.

Laughter is the best medicine, but in certain situations the Heimlich maneuver may be
more appropriate.

It takes a village to raise a child to hate all of the people in the next village.

The key to someone's heart is never lost: It's just that the locks were changed 'cause
you're some sort of psycho.

You have to learn to crawl before you can grovel.

You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the prince. But he probably isn't
going to be interested in some frog-kisser.

True beauty is on the inside, where no one will ever see it.

You can do anything if you want it bad enough. That is why we see so many people who can
fly.

Every failure is a step to success up a ladder that will eventually collapse under the
weight of all those failures.

And now some funnies (well some of them anyway) (courtesy of my dad):
What does Michael Jackson like about twenty eight year olds?
There are twenty of them.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with. The other is used to
carry groceries.

What are they going to do if they catch Michael Jackson with another eight-year-old boy?
Give him his own parish.

Why can't Episcopalians play chess?
They can't tell the difference between a bishop and a queen.

Why are elephants big, wrinkled, large, gray, hairy?
Because of they were small, white, smooth, round, and hairless, they'd be aspirin tablets.

Rene Descartes walks into a bar and has a beer. After a while the bartender asks him if he
wants another beer. He says, "I think not," and disappears.

How does the blind parachutist know when he's getting close to the ground?
The leash goes slack.

How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
We don't know, They've never tried.

A Czech man went to the eye doctor to have his vision checked. The eye chart said:
CVKPMWXFCZ. The doctor said, "Can you read that?" The man said, "Can I read it? I dated
her once."

When NASA started sending up astronauts, they discovered that ballpoint pens don't work in
zero gravity. So they spent twelve million dollars and more than a decade developing a pen
that writes under any condition, on almost every surface. The Russians used a pencil.

"Do you take off your glasses because you think it makes you look better?"
"No, because it makes you look better."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

so hopefully i offended someone today. one of yesterday's quotes included one about knowing where the line is and crossing it deliberately. i dont know if i really trust that guy though. i dont enen remember who it was. And guess what! that crazy messed up holiday website is up and running again. and as i havent really been reporting on those lately, im going to catch you up today. the 17th was National Cheeseball Day and Stress Awareness Day. the 18th was International Juggler's Day and Pet Owners Independence Day. the 19th was National Garlic Day (*Cringe! Cringe!* It burns my skin!). the 20th (yesterday) was Look-alike Day and Volunteer Recognition Day. today is Secretary's Day and Kindergarten Day. tomorrow should be fun. Earth Day, Girl Scout Leader Day, and (best of all) National Jelly Bean Day. im really looking forward to friday... Lover's Day. I'll still be in provo, just in case anyone's interested in celebrating with me :)

Birthdays today include:
Ulrich von Hutten, 1488 (Stud List candidate (not officially added)) <==fun with parentheses
Charlotte Bronte (imagine the diareces, because i dont know how to type them), 1816
Hippolyte Taine, 1828 (Also a Stud List candidate, i will have to remember these.)
John Muir, 1838 (yet another candidate, i cant believe i missed all these people)
1st buffalo born in Golden Gate Park, 1892
Leonard Warren, 1911
Anthony Quinn, 1915
Daniel Melnick, 1924 (producer of Get Smart!)
Bob Cleary, 1936
Iggy Pop, 1947 (from the band Zombie Birdhouse)
Tony Danza, 1951
Eddie Belfour, 1965 (what a guy!)
Stewart Malgunas, 1970 (go defense!)
Samantha Druce, 1971 (youngest woman to swim the English Channel, or LaManche if you will)
Ashley Peldon, 1984 (if you've ever wanted to write to an actress, heres your chance! Post Office Box 57593, Sherman Oaks, CA 91403)

And deaths:
Anselmus, 1109
Henry VII, 1st Tudor king of England, 1509
Cosimo d' Medici, 1574
Heinrich Vogl, 1900
Mark Twain, 1910 (i think when he died, he took the name Langhorn with him)
Muhammad Iqbal, 1938
Carlos Lopez Buchardo, 1948
Fran‡ois "Doc" Duvalier, 1971 (‡ represents that curly c thingy that only the French can use. an informed source (i.e.my Official High and Mighty Personal Royal Advisor and Decision Maker) tells me that it is called a cedilla)
Gummo Marx, 1977 (not one of the four, but still pretty funny. not quite Stud List, sorry Gummo)
James Kirkwood, 1989
Vladimir K Romanov, 1992
Andres Rodriguez, 1997 (president of Paraguay)
Diosdado Macapagal, 1997 (president of Phillipines. bad day for leaders of P countries, how many more are there anyway? first person to tell me gets a red cream soda float, on me.)

And some things that happened on this day in history:
Otto I the Great gives Utrecht fishing rights, 953
Turkish fleet sinks ship Golden Receiver (not retriever) in Constantinople, 1453
Battle at Panipat: Mogol Emperor Babur beats Sultan Ibrahim Lodi, 1526
France & England sign anti-Spanish military covenant, 1572
William III & Mary Stuart proclaimed king & queen of England, 1689
Noah Webster publishes 1st American dictionary, 1828
Congress establishes US Mint in Denver, 1862 (look for the little D on your moneys)
Abraham Lincoln's funeral train leaves Washington, 1865
NY installs 1st firehouse pole, 1878
Stanley Cup: Toronto Maple Leafs beat Montreal Canadiens, 4 games to 1, 1951 (go Montreal...)
Beatles meet the Rolling Stones for the first time, 1963
Josef Stalin's daughter, Svetlana Alliluyeva, defects to US, 1967
Military coup in Greece, Konstantinos Kollias becomes premier, 1967 (i want his name!)
Boston Marathon won by Yoshiaki Unetani, 1969
Original Codex Reguis (with Edda-liederen) returns to Iceland, 1971 (be still, my heart!)
Franz Weber of Austria skis downhill at a record 209.8 kph, 1984
FBI arrested Timothy McVeigh, 1995
Ashes of Timothy Leary & Gene Roddenberry launched into orbit, 1997 (whoadang!)
Elizabeth Stevenson didn't pay attention in history, 2002
Brian Harris didnt do as badly on the astronomy test as he planned! 2004
Brian tried to organize people to go to the MOA for the third day in a row, 2004

a couple of quotes to pass your time.

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972)
Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.
Barbara Tober
It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important.
Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 - 1968)
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel.
From "Taxi"
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974)
I didn't really say everything I said.
Yogi Berra (1925 - )
pretty good stuff, no? well i think im about finished here. oh, if anyone has suggestions for an upcoming email theme, let me know and i'll do something about it. also, the Stud List Official Name Compiler (namely me) is still accepting nominees. but please dont give me names of peopel that you know personally (unless you know someone like Colin Powell personally or something) so yah, its three pages and a little bit, and i will be publishing the list online here in a couple of weeks probably, im hoping to get every single super-influential person in history on this list, so please give me some names of your favorite people of all time. in particular im looking for religious leaders (i.e. Sidhartha, Mohammed, etc.) and political leaders (i.e. Constantine, Harald Bluetooth, etc.) and great military strategists (i.e. Hannibal, Eleazar ben Yair, etc.) and philosophers (i.e. Eristarchus, Voltaire, etc.) and to an extent, performers (i.e. Frank Sinatra, Elvis, etc.) and artists (i.e Leonardo DaVinci, Giocochino Rossini, etc.) and people like that (i.e. others), in addition to the famous, i am looking for the infamous, (i.e. Francisco Pizarro, Adolf Hitler, etc.) if you can help that would be wonderful. after i get all the names, i will proceed to write a brief summary of the achievements of each person and then publish a little useful and easy to use book with an index so that i can earn money while im on my mission, so that i can go to school afterwards with the royalty moneys. or something. ok, thats my plea, have a good day, good luck with finals or going home or whatever :'( keep in touch, and somebody in my ward, please let me know if you got one of those lists with everyones addresses, because i didnt get one, and my name isnt on the list, so i need to start getting everyone's info. thanks a bunch, ttyl.

The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time

It was recently brought to my attention that i have been forgetting to put quotes in my emails. im sorry to all of you that like the quotes, and i know thats most of you because most of you have told me so. thats why today i am giong to make up for all those lost quotes (which is also good because my best websites are still down) and i dont know if i am reapeating any or not, but i guess that doesnt matter so much as long as i choose only good quotes. enjoy!

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
Herbert Spencer (1820 - 1903)
Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.
Ursula K. LeGuin
In heaven all the interesting people are missing.
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
George Carlin (1937 - )
He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder.
M. C. Escher (1898 - 1972)
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright (1955 - )
I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise.
Lady Mary Wortley Montagu (1689 - 1762)
The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.
Peter Drucker
The world is my lobster. (dang thats deep)
Henry J. Tillman
All television is children's television.
Richard P. Adler
If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. Wodehouse (1881 - 1975)
In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001) what a great book... i wish i had finished it
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
David Letterman (1947 - )
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)
The truth is more important than the facts.
Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959)
A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.
Sir Barnett Cocks (1907 - 1989)
The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.
Don Marquis (1878 - 1937)
The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
Mel Brooks (1926 - )
I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself.
Peter da Silva
so those are the quotes for tdoay. many there are.
And lets see if we have any birthdays today. we hit kind of a dry spell lately. i guess famous people prefer not to be born mid-April...
Adolph Hitler, 1889
Donald Wolfit, 1902
Bruce Cabot, 1904
Nina Foch, 1924
Takayuki Kobori, 1969 (GO JAPANESE HOCKEY PLAYERS!!)

And some deaths!
Elizabeth Barton, 1534
George Frederic Handel, 1759
Giuseppe Rossini, 1839 (father of Gioacchino Rossini)
Bram Stoker, 1912
Cecil Parker, 1971
Christopher Robin Milne, 1996 (this guy was a stud, but probably not influencial enough for placement on the infamous Stud List)

And things that happened today in history:
Capt Cook arrives in New South Wales, 1770
British begin siege of Boston, 1775
Territory of Wisconsin created, 1836
1st detective story (Poe's "Murders in Rue Morgue") published, 1841
Harriet Tubman starts Underground Railroad, 1853
Battle of Norfolk, 1861
Heinrich Himmler becomes inspector Prussian secret state police, 1934
Dodgers start to wear liners in their caps, 1941 (what a pivotal moment in world history...)
Frederik IX becomes king of Denmark, 1947 (i like pretty much anything associated with Denmark, in case you were wondering what to get me for my birthday. oh wait, no one wonders that)
Buses replace Key System trains at 3 AM, 1958 (wow, another life changing event)
Montreal Canadiens beat Boston Bruins 4 games to 2 for Stanley Cup, 1958 (JERKS!)
Mark McGwire, is 4th to HR on Detroit Tiger left field roof, 1997

thats all for the history, the whole last half of this section doesnt even matter really. im surprised people actually know this junk and i dont know why i look it up. so i guess its all even.

ive got some random facts today too. things you may have been wondering since early childhood. maybe not.
On a Canadian $2 bill, the flag flying over the parliament building is an American flag. ready, williing, what are we waiting for?
Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey Decimal category.
Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if shot into your blood stream (hmmm, i wonder what idiot found that out!)

more later. peace out all! (Amy Hansen, I already miss you!) have a good day everyone!

(fairly boring) E-Mail of the Day

To all you provo people leaving today/tomorrow: have a nice trip :D dont forget about me.
I was looking for that website that tells me all the random holidays (because there is really only one that i could find that was decent) and last time i was having some issues with it, but this time it actually doesnt exist. so hopefully whoever runs that site will patch it up or something. So that made me sad. i did find one other almost good site but it doesnt even have anything listed for today. oh well, looks like for now, the strange, obscure holiday funs are over. lets assume someone sabatoged the site, and we can all hope they get their just reward. jerks.
I didnt do any birthdays the last few days, but everyone tell Cambell happy birthday. hes a cool guy, and hes 19, and im probably never going to see him again. *cry, cry*. Today's birthdays are: a whole lot of people that ive never heard of. sorry about the lack of information today. maybe i will have to get creative (although sadly, i dont feel the creativity. it abandoned me in my time of need). the only problem with that is that sometimes innocent bystanders get hurt. Deaths today are: Lord Byron, and a whole lot of people i dont even recognize. true i dont know a lot of celebrities or pop culture icons, but i at least recognize names, and today there is NOTHING!! NON!! NICHT!! REI!! sorry about all this. im boring today. i try to never be boring but today im failing miserably.
Im going to stop by the art museum today to look at all the wonderfulness on the first floor, if you are interested, let me know.
Here is some advise offered by Christina (my fiancee who drew me a picture of me and her in a cowboy hat at a karaoke bar. Shes one of the coolest girls i've never met!): If its in the refrigerator and its green and not a vegetable, get a new one. when doing dishes dont pour hot water down your pants. Treat your dishes like your boyfriend (or girlfriend in some cases), dont let your rommates do them. When you drop something and it breaks, say "i guess that doesnt bounce". then you wont look so stupid. know your chemistry: one large pizza+ three fugecicles+ a liter of pepsi+ a tub of cool whip+high emotions= a crazy night you wont remember half of and an unhappy tummy!
Thanks Christina! you rock. and some history from yesterday: I had orange rolls with some of my bestest friends, i went to choir and church and enjoyed both immensely, i sang hymns with those same bestest friends, and did some amazing stuff afterwards (and some others who are also included in the bestest friends category), and in general, yesterday was (so far) the best day of my life. word to you all.
im really boring today. but i hear that this is a pretty good website. i havent had a chance to check it out yet. my internet's goofed. http://humour.topcities.com/pictures/africa/africa.html so i hope that works out for you all. have a good day. may the force be with you.

Bore da, mein dda gen i cwrdd a chi

ok, first person to tell me what the subject line says gets a big fatty prize. if you can name the language, then you get a not so fatty prize. but still worth your time. so, there really arent any cool birthdays today as far as i could find. but today is Daffy Duck's birthday, if you can call it that. ducks generally arent born (or "barn" if you're from Utah), they're usually hatched, but I dont think Daffy was really hatched either. maybe conjured. or created (like Frankenstein, only less destructive). oh and Raye Hollit from American Gladiator turned 40 today, if anyone cares about that. oooh! i just found out that its Nikita Kruschev's birthday too. so i guess there was one worth mentioning after all. and my main site for finding obscure holidays is basically dead. hopefully its working tomorrow. thats one of my most useful sites, and it has this cool light blue background...
Some cool things that happened yesterday:
My watch broke (but at least i was playing frisbee, so its ok), I took my american heritage final (got a better seat than austin!), i studied in the Bean Museum and there were lots of little kids running around, something smelled good as i was walking between the cannon center and stover (my guess is those little white and pink flowering trees), i ate lunch with jill and jessica and about 6 waves of people that came and sat with us because we are all so wildly popular, i ran through the sprinklers, i threw around some bags of ice with cream, sang hymns for like an hour or something, and gave Amy a backrub while Amy gave Amie a backrub, went to bed before midnight, had good dreams, and all kinds of other fun and good things. one bad thing that happened: i got a paper cut, get this, in my sleep. yes thats right. i dont know how. but i woke up and my thumb is sliced open.
So if any of you think you know the highlight of my day (i'll give you a clue, its not the papercut), email me and possibly you will win a prize. for some reason no one seems to want prizes, which doesnt make sense to me. what about self interest? only three people have ever emailed me back hoping to win a prize. i have prizes at my disposal, dont worry about that. but then today's offer isnt entirely fair, because i know for sure that someone besides me knows the correct answer, so you had better check your email first.
Some interesting thoughts: beveled polyester splicers (i still havent gotten around to writing that essay), the aquabats, magnified plaid (name that band!), shameful pork (check out http://shamefulpork.tripod.com if you ever decide to prove that im definitely whack, this will prove it beyond a doubt and then you wont have to work so hard. my excuse is, this was my first attempt at a website and it was a long time ago, and i lost the files, so now i cant edit this or remove it from the web. oops, silly me!), what are those flowering trees by stover, how many animals are capable of using their tails to grab things, has anyone ever taken a picture of a yak wearing shoes, if so where can i find said picture, and just how many floor tiles are in the Wilk? that will be a question that i will be able to answer by the time i go home.
So just today my friend elizabeth declared that i am "a cool"! how honored i feel! i am a cool! no one has ever said that to me before, and this is a friend that i think very highly of, so you can imagine my jubilation. oh and theres this guy on my floor named Jordan, hes ubercool. hes possibly the coolest guy who is sitting next to me in the canc right now. hes responsible for my midnight potty break laughs, with the Calvin and Hobbes posted in the bathroom. its a pity some jerk took them down! his head should a splode. what a punk, those cartoons werent hurting anybody, and some doofus had to go and rip them off and put them in the toilets. oh well, maybe they will accidentally fall off the roof and then we'll all be even and i wont have to use physical violence. and if not, i still wont use physical violence. unless the perpitrator is kelv, in which case, i will fight him just for poops and giggles. i do that sometimes, but he usually wins.
So thats all i have for today, hope you enjoyed it, goodbye, God bless you, have a caffeine free weekend, see you next week, same time, same place where we will learn in blinding incandescence... (someone fill in the blanks please...)
Brian, the Sexy Honky-Tonk Karaoke King

Waffles are not cake

stuff for today: Nickie Li so far is the only person to respond to yesterday's subject line, but unfortunately was incorrect. nobody wins this time eh.

today is National Eggs Benedict Day and National Librarian Day. woohoo. and today is the birthday of John Hadley (yet another vaguely familiar astronomy name), Anatole France, Charlie Chaplin, Dusty Springfield, and Kareem-Abdul Jabar. And today's deaths include Johann Baptist Cramer, Babe Ruth, Ralph Waldo Ellison, Cheyenne Brando (Marlon's suicidal daughter), and Emilio Azcarraga Milmo.

And on this day in history:
Ebenezer Bassett, 1st US Negro diplomat, begins service in Haiti, 1869
US Post Office issues 1st books of postage stamps, 1900
Annie Oakley sets record by breaking 100 clay targets in a row, 1922
NY Yankees become 1st team to wear uniform numbers, 1929
Stanley Cup: Toronto Maple Leafs sweep Detroit Red Wings in 4 games, 1949 (they deserved it!)
Stanley Cup: Chicago Blackhawks beat Detroit Red Wings, 4 games to 2, 1961 (they should lose more often)
Geraldine Mock of US is 1st woman to fly solo round the world, 1964
Michael Jordon, becomes 2nd NBA player to score 3000 points in a season, 1987
St Louis Blues becomes 8th NHL team in Play-off to come back from a 3-1 deficit as they beat the Detroit Red Wings 3-2 in game 7, 1991 (HAHAHAHA!!!! DEVILS SUCK!!!!)
Circus performers Marissa Young (24) & Matt Richardson (21) wed, 1994 (somebody please, think of the children...)

And thats the best of the best today, im trying to shorten these a little (not too much). im hoping to have lots and lots of time this summer to do these, and with any luck i will have important and interesting things to say. im not sure though, i might have to calm down a little when i get home, my mom will probably want me to sleep inside, and not spraypaint Aquabats logos my chest. oh well. maybe i will have an interesting job or something. *sigh* no red cream soda floats at home... i'll get over it i guess. but it might take a while. well im going to go find something fun to do now. you all have a good day, good luck with finals, etc. so long and thanks for all the fish.

Sincerely, Brian David Hans Olafsson Esbern Bluetooth Squirrel James Milford Tennyson "No Convictions" Marshallow Man Who Makes Scrumptious Chocolate Melt Freak The Hero The Procrastination King Cluff Harris-Bacon (I beat my record today: 26)

**note about this blog: I later ate three more slices of bacon, one for lunch and two for dinner, thus 29!**

Anata wa totemo sugosugiru

First person (besides kelv, andy, jase, michael, and noel) to tell me what the subject line means wins the prize. speaking of prizes, my bro andy won every single one yesterday. the rest of you are all slackers.

Streamlined Cows:
so the reason that streamlined cows are important to the future of america is simple. who wouldnt want streamlined cows? first of all, they are faster than your average bovine. and according to einstein, the faster an object moves, the longer it exists in relation to everything else. This means that each Streamlined Cow could produce 1.000005 times as much milk and natural gas in the average lifetime. and while this might not seem like much, if all the cows in america were streamlined, each year, american farmers would produce on average 500 Million gallons more milk, and gas companies would harvest more methane, nitrogen, etc. Second, cow racing is increasing in popularity. last year cow race attendance double to 18 avid spectators. the streamlined cows would have a clear advantage in such races, and with the added excitement that comes with increased speed, the cow racing business would increase in popularity. spectators would flock to the tracks, and they would in all likelihood get some tv coverage on ESPN and the concession companies would increase profits. as 4% of the american population works for concession companies and nearly 5% work in sports entertainment, 9% of all americans would profit from streamlining cows. this would obviously help the economy. We have to think about the economics of the future as well. we are rapidly depleting our natural resources, such as gasoline and oil. cars will soon become too costly for the average american to afford, and we will need more nature-friendly and cheap ways to operate machinery and vehicles. Natural gas has been proven to be nature friendly and if we bred more cows (that happen to live longer), we would produce ample amounts of natural gas that we could use to operate these necessities. clearly we need streamlined cows, and if i am elected i will ensure the genetic manipulation necessary to achieve this great milestone in technology and society. Thank you.

ok, just a random thought inspired by camble christensen. more to come later.

Cantbreathecantbreathecantbreathe!

Well, I'm back from my vacation! Actually i didnt go on anything like a vacation. i could only wish. so i havent written an email since i think Wednesday. in case you like getting my emails, im sorry. and if you dont like getting them, merry Christmas and a happy new year. should i even bother trying to make up the lost days? i am thinking probably i wont. but for everyone's information, April 8th had a couple of birthdays, Buddha and my awesome cousin Amy. i guess i will still tell you all the holidays for last week, but im going to skip the history stuff. So um, the 7th was World Health Day and No Housework Day. The 8th was Astronomy Day, All Is Ours Day, and Draw a Picture of a Bird Day. (I actually drew a picture of a bird that day without realizing i was supposed to!) The 9th was Name Yourself Day and Winston Churchill Day (he's mos def on the stud list). and the 10th was Golfer's Day and National Siblings Day. (Again, i accidentally celebrated that when i called home to talk to my mom but Andy answered the phone, so i talked to him for a bit) and the 11th was 8-Track Tape Day and Barbershop Quartet Day. yesterday was Look Up At The Sky Day (i celebrated this one unknowingly too), Big Wind Day, and Reach As High As You Can Day. and today: Blame Someone Else Day, and SCRABBLE DAY!!!!! IF ANYONE IS UP FOR A GIANT AWESOME SCRABBLE PARTY, ITS GOING ON TONIGHT, CONTACT ME FOR DETAILS!!! DONT MISS IT!!!

ok thats one of my favorite obsessions right there. probably some of you knew that anyway. So i think starting today i will put an asterisk by my personal favorite in each section. just for kicks. And also, i just wanted to make it known that i have gotten 7 hours of sleep in the last 72 hours. pretty snazzy eh? Today is the birthday of:
Catherine DeMedici, 1519
Thomas Percy, 1729
William Stephen Walker, 1822 (first person to tell me how he died wins the prize)
*Alfred Moser Butts, 1899 (THIS IS THE DUDE THAT INVENTED SCRABBLE!!!)
Alfred Schutz, 1899
Howard Keel, 1917
Peter M Harris, Official Solicitor, 1937
Max Weinberg, 1951 (hes the drummer on the Conan O'Brien show)
Mike Kennedy, 1972 (stupid Stars, beating colorado like that. it was obsene)

And now for some death information. (did anyone else notice that the hanging feet/flower thing in the HFAC is made of death records? i find it a little awkward to look at)
*Jean de La Fontaine, 1695 (STUD LIST)
Vasili Vereshtshagin, 1904
Christopher Wilder, 1984 (this guy was on the FBI's most wanted list for years and he accidentally killed himself!)

And today in history:
Battle at Abydos, 989. Byzantine emperor Basilius II beats Bardas Phocas (the Byzantine Empire is seriously one of the most interesting empires of all time. WAY cooler than rome, for sure)
Gelnhausen Republic forms, 1180
Crusaders occupy Constantinople, 1204
Osmaanse army occupies Cairo, 1517
John Dryden (36) becomes 1st English poet laureate, 1668 (this guy is one of my first stud list appointments)
Dutch people protest bad quality of bread, 1741 (dont they have anything better to do? like perhaps make signs denouncing flags?)
George Frederic Handel's "Messiah" performed for 1st time, 1742 (first person to name the place wins a prize!)
Battle of Bergen, 1759
1st elephant arrives in US from India, 1796
HMS Beagle anchors at river mouth of Rio Santa Cruz, Patagonia, 1834 (name the captain! but no prize for this one. too easy, yo!)
Hospital for Ruptured & Crippled in NY becomes 1st orthopedic hospital, 1863
J(ames) C(ash) Penney opens his first store, 1902 (name the location and you get a prize!)
1st flight over Mount Everest, 1933 (name the pilot for a prize!)
Nazi's discover mass grave of Polish officers near Katyn, 1943
Montreal Canadiens sweep Chicago Blackhawks in 4 games, 1944
Hank Aaron's 1st game, 1954
Robert Oppenheimer accused of being a communist, 1954
Colin Bosher shears a record 565 sheep in 1 work day, 1964
Apollo 13 announces "Houston, we've got a problem!", 1970
Jackson slugs a 3-run HR in the 1st inning, & the field is showered, 1978
"Grease" closes at Broadhurst Theater NYC after 3,388 performances, 1980
US performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site, 1983 (ok, i have to admit, i find this every single day, and im wondering whether the US actually has tested 365 nuclear weapons, one for every day of the year, or if there is some mistake. i like to think that we are nukehappy)
President guard at Kigali Rwanda, chops 1,200 church members to death, 1994
Hartford Whalers last NHL game, 1997
NHL Pitts Penguin Mario Lemieux's last NHL regular game, 1997
Brian actually went to American Heritage, 2004

And today's Psychology History:
The New York state law established the New York State Lunatic Asylum for Insane Convicts, the world's first mental hospital for criminal patients, separate from a prison or general hospital. The first facility opened in 1859 in Auburn, New York, ajoining a state prison, 1855
Frank Beach was born, 1911
The National Mental Health Bell was cast, using metal from chains and shackles formerly used to restrain mental patients. The bell, cast by the McShane Foundry of Baltimore, became the symbol of the National Mental Health Association, 1953
The Children With Specific Learning Disabilities Act, providing funds for research, professional training, and services, was passed by Congress. It appeared as Title VI(G) of the Elementary and Secondary Education Act of 1970
The North Carolina Psychological Association was incorporated, 1979

And today's Canadian Headlines:
Saudis Free Father of Canadian Terror Suspect
Canada Trying To Prove Identity of Aid Worker
Dumping of Avian Flu Carcasses Sparks Protest
and of course... Game 4 Pivotal For Some

So i think everyone in provo should come to my university chorale concert tonight. its at 7:30 in the DeJong. I am going to go over around 7:15 with some people, so if you want to meet us and walk over with us, that is permissable. and also everyone should come to my Quoque concert on thursday @ 5 PM in the MOA. thats really all i have to say.

Hey, hey, hey

today hopefully i wont slack off like i did yesterday. today is Plan Your Epitaph Day, and Sorry Charlie Day. i personally am a big fan of planning my own epitaph. and tomorrow is No Housework Day and World Health Day. rock on. also today is the Elvish New Year, celebrated by the good citizens of Valinor, Rivendell, Lorien, and the many other woodland realms, including my dorm room, and most likely a few others. i have now met five girls from David John (not the ghetto, elizabeth) that are most likely throwing a party today.

And i have a question for you all. some of you i already asked, forgive me. i found a website the other day that claims to have a recording of every classical work ever. and i was looking around and i remembered the advise that kevin brinkerhoff and amy honka offered me: "check out Mahler" and i was looking around and i realized that they had over a thousand recordings by Mahler, and i am utterly confused and i was wondering which ones are worth looking at. i will have to end up paying for it, but not much. most cds are around $6-10 so that shouldnt hurt me too much. so if you have a favorite song/symphony/anything by gustav mahler, let me know.

Famous Birthdays for today are:
Jean-Baptiste Rousseau, 1671 (i think i put him on a few days ago, but as there are discrepencies about the actual birthdate, and i am not a Rousseau scholar, i just put him down wherever i find him. if you want the truth, you can go look him up and let me know what you come up with)
Johann Friedrich Kranz, 1752
Elizabeth Barrett-Browning, 1806 (very cool chica, definitely one of my heroes)
Friedrich Robert Volkmann, 1815
James Augustine Healy, 1830 (first black Roman Catholic bishop)
Johan H C Kern, 1833 (i learned about this guy in Ling 330)
Butch Cassidy, 1866
Willem Pelemans, 1901 (guess his nationality!)
Bob Marley, 1945
Gerald Diduck, 1965 (um, go oilers?)
Olaf Kolzig, 1970 (here's a guy worthy of emulation. cool name. even cooler job. look him up)

And famous deaths for today are:
Methodius, 885
Richard I, the Lion-hearted, 1199 (stud list!!)
Jacques de Bourbon, count of Marche, 1362
Willem Van de Velde, 1707 (he was 73 when he died, yet they called him Willem the Young...)
William Strickland, 1854 (i like this guy's style, check it out)
Julia Faye, 1966
Igor F Strawinsky, 1971 (what a stud! if only he wasnt a communist)
Agatha Uwilingiyimana, 1994 (first woman Prime Minister in Africa, assassinated by chauvinist pigs)
Juv‚nal Habayarimana, 1994 (president of Rwanda, the same country Agatha Uwilingiyimana was from. Rwanda had/has issues.)

And famous things that happened today in history:
Ringbearers honored at the Fields of Cormallen, T.A. 3019 (this really is a big deal)
Battle at Pollentia, 402 (Roman army under Stilicho beats Visigoten, or "Visigoths" to those who are not acquainted with O.N. or O.G.)
Lailat-ul Qadar, 610 (the night the Quran descended to earth)
Fire in Venice, 1106 (i read an entire chapter in my book about fires in medieval times, and the people were more afraid of fires than they were of the plague)
France declares war on Netherlands, 1672
Peter the Great ends tax on men with beards, 1722
English militia shoots prisoners, 100's killed, 1815
Mormon church organized, 1830
Cornerstone laid for 2nd Mormon temple, Nauvoo, 1841
Battle of Sayler's Creek, 1865 (also Skirmish of High Bridge)
Brigham Young marries his 27th & final wife, 1868 (yah lots of Mormon history today, sorry)
1st plastic patented, 1869
Kodak Camera on sale for 1st time, 1889
Andy Bowen & Jack Burke box 7 hrs 19 mins (111 rounds, no winner), 1893
Mormon Temple in Salt Lake City dedicated, 1893
1st modern Olympic games open in Athens Greece [3/25 OS] American James Connolly wins the 1st Olympic gold medal in modern history, 1896 (yes i put this up on march 25th too, note the note above)
1st animated cartoon copyrighted, 1906
1st credit union forms in US, 1909
US declares war on Germany, 1917
1st film shown on an airplane (British Air), 1925
Twinkies invented, 1930 (i hear Twinkies do amazing things in microwaves)
Teflon invented, 1938
Montreal Canadiens score 3 goals in 56 seconds in playoff game against Detroit, 1954 (HAHAHA!!!! DETROIT SUCKS, AND I HATE THEM ALL!!!!)
Mihir Sen swims Palk Strait between Sri Lanka & India, 1966
Yankee Ron Blomberg becomes 1st designated hitter, he walks, 1973
Fastest hat trick by Washington Capitals 3 mins 26 secs (Stan Gilbertson), 1975
Gordie Howe completes a record 26th season, 1980 (hes on my stud list for sure)
Soccer ball juggled non-stop for 14:14 hrs, 1986
NJ Devils' 1st playoff game; lose to Isles 4-3 OT in 1st round, 1988 (HAHAHa!!!! DEVILS LOST!!!)
Orel Hershiser ends his record 59 consecutive scoreless streak, 1989 (stud)
Subhana becomes 1st Australian woman to become a Zen teacher, 1991
Supreme Court Justice Blackmun (Roe v Wade) resigns, 1994

phew, i didnt give up today. and there was some pretty snazzy stuff that happened too. so today i wore shoes. its sad but true. the manager lady in the cannon center yelled at me for the second time, which makes three times total and i could tell she was pretty unhappy about my rule-breaking. and she told me i couldnt come back anymore if she caught me again without shoes. so sad. and i decided that my desire to eat is much much stronger than my desire to go barefoot, so i guess i have no choice but to comply.
All you provo people should come to the symphony orchestra concert tonight. its free, and i want to go, but its lame to go alone. and you should also come to my university chorale concert at 7:30 april 13th. its also free. and its in the DeJong. and you can see other cool people besides me. i know at least ten cool people who are singing that night, and im sure there are others. so come. if you or anyone you know are having concerts etc. in the near future, let me know and i will advertise.

and now for your daily quotes.


God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project.
Anonymous, Graffito
The reason there is so little crime in Germany is that it's against the law.
Alex Levin
The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action.
Frank Herbert (1920 - 1986)
Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
What a blessing it would be if we could open and shut our ears as easily as we open and shut our eyes!
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799)
Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities.
Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959) (stud list)
I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.
Poul Anderson (1926 - )
Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.
Iris Murdoch (1919 - 1999)
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright (1955 - )
It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister.
Abigail Van Buren (1918 - )
A book of quotations . . . can never be complete.
Robert M. Hamilton
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Bill Cosby
Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back in the same box.
Italian Proverb
A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men
Rhoald Dahl
so those are your quotes for today and yesterday. hope you are satisfied. thats my goal, to try to please everybody. i hear thats the key to failure. so yah. have a good day. email me pictures of logs, answers to riddles and perhaps small animals.

i ran out of time and energy there toward the end...

Hello. i didnt write any email yesterday because the stupid Cannon Center lab is always closed on sundays so i would have had to find someones computer to use for an hour. so i didnt write one and i forewent the daily email. so yah. and also on saturday when i wrote personal messages to everyone, i left out Jordan and Amie. oops, sorry about that. so here are your messages. Jordan, you should come for hot chocolate again. its not the same without you. Amie, how do you like teaching with austin? just wonderin.

So yesterday's holidays included Hug A Newsman Day, Walk Around Things Day, School Librarian Day, and Tell A Lie Day. Famous births (not they many of these people were famous when they were born) included: Georg Gottfried Wagner, Giacomo Casanova, Louis Ludwig Spohr, Joseph Lister (founded aseptic surgery), George Schick, Cubby Alberto Romolo Broccoli, Nguyen Van Thieu, Roger Corman (director of what play?), Stanley Turrentine, Peter T King, Dave Holland (from Judas Priest), Harcourt Fenton "Harry" Mudd (born in 2173 on New Amsterdam, located in the Arcturus system. i can find arcturus...)
And your daily dose of deaths: Richard Roose, boiled to death for trying to poison an archbishop, Georg Andreas Henkel, Jozef Brems (Flemish apostole vicar of Denmark. another Flemish dude...), Julius Harrison, Douglas MacArthur, John Marriott, Sam Walton (Wal*Diggity), Allen Ginsberg.
And yesterday in history: i didnt write an email, and one day later, didnt feel like looking this stuff up, 2004

And holidays for today: Fun At Work Day, Go For Broke Day (already broke...), and Rubber Eraser Day. i cant really celebrate that, as my pencil died, and i dont even think the eraser was real rubber. oh well.
And born today in history: Thomas Hobbes, Caracalla, Charles Funk (i have respect for anyone who writes dictionaries), and a bunch of other people. and a lot of folks died, and im sure some stuff happened. so anyway, this is your lame email for the day, sorry i didnt deliver as expected. have a good day all, and celebrate some holidays.

Woohoo! It's the weekend!

So uh, i guess im supposed to write little personal messages to everyone now. i havent done that in a while. Its alphabetical by first name, except in a few cases.

-Amy F., how much does that huge massive choir concert next week cost? i hear its friday and saturday night, and i was planning on going, but i will need to know more about it. you seem to be pretty well informed about the choir stuff, eh.
-Amy Hansen, "I love you" -Canada
-Amy Harris, How's life? sorry i can't come next weekend, i didnt mean to shatter your hopes and dreams. Caroline said you probably arent too happy about that.
-Amy Honka, I found some other cool websites that i thought maybe you would get a kick out of. www.rathergood.com is a little odd, but perhaps it will interest you. they have some interesting songs like the moon song and others.
-Anders T., do you even get these? i havent even talked to you i dont think for like a week now.
-Andy H., thanks for that crazy list of websites. i also need to ask a favor of you, but not publicly. i need one of your mess.be programs, get online sometime and we'll talk.
-Andy N., wurd up. hey are you showing these to Dan? i tried stalkernetting him but i couldnt find him. so yah.
-Beau H., you're still working at Cosmo's right? what is the best and/or cheapest thing to get to eat there?
-Ben S., wurd up dawg. we should play some frisbee next week, eh?
-The Blaze, i didnt make it to your game last night, how'd it go? you guys win? you get much playing time?
-Brooklyn A., how's life? i havent talked to you in a while. i still need to meet your yak-adoring friend. also, would she (or others) be interested in my emails?
-Caleb T., long time no see, im coming home in three weeks. lets have a gummy bear party, eh?
-Cambell C., what days do you not have class between 2:30 and 5? i think the juice thing is a brilliant idea
-Canada L., sorry, no canadian history today. but there is some almost cool hockey stuff. not as good as that one day last week though.
-Christina., i just was thinking about the timing when i decided not to come next weekend, and i realized it was right after you sent those pictures. oops, it really isnt because of the pictures, haha! :D
-Daniel T., hey man, i havent talked to you since about forever ago. are you in hamilton's class this semester, i cant remember. if so, im sorry.
-Elizabeth S., wow, i havent talked to you since yesterday. how is your goal to not read your favorite book? what spontaneous things are you planning to do this week?
-Heather C., thats way cool about your trip to Europe. will you send me pictures to my email if you can? that would rock!
-Jose C., Is that list i sent you what you were looking for? i can send you more stuff, or a big ol' fatty list of websites that you can pick through for yourself, if thats any easier.
-Elder Jefe, are you going to make any more crapmovies before our missions? i want to see more. you and harrison are geniuses (geniusi? genii?)
-Jennifer G., see Anders T.
-Jennifer M., what is the project you were working in the prop shop for? is that an even that is coming up soon, or is it like a smaller scale thing or what? also, do you have time to go to the art museum with me this week? they have some totally cool stuff.
-Julie H., how's everything going with your house? do you have everything unpacked and all that? did you hear about Caroline's party next week?
-Kat K., how are the sophomore bones doing? are they as annoying as ever? i can come beat some down when i come home if you want. just say the word, ive been wanting to hit people for a while.
-Kelv C., are we going to be able to take our road trip after school is over? what do you have going on the weekend after finals?
-Kenny B., your name is pretty cool when you just use the first initial of your last name. i think you could aspire to be a cheesy saxophonist or something. the first step is to give up the clarinet. (its the instrument of the devil, you know)
-Kevin B., wurd up. i found some cool places to sleep by/on the marriot center, but i dont know how well that would work out. the ledges are pretty small, and i would be more afraid of falling off of those than i was last night.
-Kim W., when is your drumline concert? im gonna try to come to that. i hear its going to rock
-Kim Y., i noticed a paper about you in the cannon center. way to go! i have to agree with whoever wrote it that you rock!
-Kristy K., hey hey. this morning justin called cambell but cambell wasnt home. i thought maybe you could find something amusing in that.
-Lori C., when are your finals? when is school out for all you Rexburgites? i was thinking maybe if you're all still in school, we can come up like the second half of april, will that work?
-Mallory H., i got your message that you sent on thursday, about april fools day. i guess you could always use the same gag next year and then it might even work better because no one would recognize me.
-Megan A., how come you dont get online much anymore? busy with school? or did you get a boyfriend? how's your brother?
-Megan C., when you finally check your email, you will have about a million of these! haha, i bet you wont even read this until i come home :D
-Meighan C., again, please dont kill me about next weekend. i wanted to come see you. are you going home in the spring? is the yellowstone trip still going to happen?
-Melanie T., i so dont see you enough. we only live like 7 minutes away. we should totally go do stuff sometime. are you interested in coming to a big ol' fatty choir concert next weekend? i will probably be going with some people from my ward, but youre welcome to come and meet them.
-Michael H., Hey buddy, how's my bone doing? still pink? still the coolest one in your class?
-Nathan S., How's mom?
-Nic P., hey did you ever get those high quality screw up frisbees? keep me posted on that, i will totally pay you well
-Nick B., i still havent played around with my fanta cans, but i have a couple of ideas. im going to bring my french horn mouthpiece to class on monday, we'll see how that goes, eh?
-Nickie L., hey lets have a big ol' fatty party when we all come home and before everyone goes on their missions. i know kelv and steve are leaving soon. i guess i dont really know what lori and meighan are up to this summer, but as you hung out with them this weekend, maybe you could let me know.
-Noel E., hows it goin? havent talked to you in a while. i think we should definitely hang out this summer. you still owe me brownies, you know. what is kallene's email by the way?
-Paul M., wurd up. do you happen to know if return of the king is at movies 8 yet? and do you know where hidalgo is playing? if you have time some night this week, we should go check out some movies.
-Phil C., did i miss anything in american heritage on thursday? do you know if we have any more papers to do?
-Ryan W., long time, no see. what are your plans after this semester? when are you getting your call?
-Scott B., do you still go to tuesday thursday lunch club? i havent been there at the right times in a while.
-Shalyse S., hey sorry i didnt talk to you much last night. i guess we had the whole time when we were waiting for the second batch of people, but the hike up, we kind of got separated and stuff. we'll do more talking tomorrow i guess.
-Steve M., hey youre the last one. happy birthday dude. when do you report to the mtc?

So last night rocked, not only did i hike the Y barefoot, i went even further. the goal was to make it to the top but the snow kept getting deeper and deeper, so we didnt quite make it to the top. but it was fun nonetheless. and i realized how good snow can feel on bare feet right after gravel and sharp pokeys. i am grateful for snow now in a way i have never been before. and all of us that went made a new friend Dave "the guru". he came with me and Andrea up the mountain past the Y and we're gonna chill with him sometime, whenever we all get together to hang out next. and then when i got home i was waiting for my pizza to come, and i was trying to decide on a place to sleep last night, and i went to the vending machines, and that prompted the thought that there is enough room on top of the vending machines to sleep comfortably, so thats what i did. i kept waking up in the night because people were laughing at/about me and occasionally people's food got stuck so they shook the machines. and several people took pictures. i guess im kind of a celebrity now, but none of them have any idea who i am. i overheard a lot of people making guesses as to why i was up there. none of them were right of course. they guessed that i lost a bet, or was depressed and expressing my anger. mostly it was just for poops and giggles, but i just let them wonder.

Today is: Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day (too bad its Saturday, eh?) and Tweed Day. rock on. Tomorrow we can all look forward to Hug A Newsman Day, Walk Around Things Day, School Librarian Day (maybe we dont have to celebrate this one, because the library is closed tomorrow, and the librarians are the worst "honor nazis" of them all), and Tell A Lie Day. That one will rock. actually i think all of tomorrows are pretty spiffy. if anyone wants to join me on my walk around things, you are welcome to come along, the more the merrier. and i hear its dangerous to walk around things by yourself.

Happy Birthday to:
Stevo Madsen, 1985
Philip III, King of France, 1245
Henry IV, King of of England, 1367
Antimo Liberati, 1617
Philippe-Lambert-Joseph Spruyt, Flemish painter, 1727 (Yay for the Flemish!)
Washington Irving, 1783
Leslie Howard!, 1893 (The exclamation point is directed to Jennifer and Liz)
Iron Eyes Cody, 1904 (this guy was in Ernest Goes To Camp!!)
George Barati, 1913
Doris Day, 1924
Marlon Brando, 1924
Jane Goodall, 1934
Rick Sylvester, parachute ski jumper (world record 3,300'), 1942
Tony Orlando, 1944
Huub van der Lubbe, 1953
David Hyde Pierce, 1959
Eddie Murphy, 1961
Picabo Street, 1971

Famous deaths for this day:
Christ (according to some), 33
Chosroes II, emperor of Persia, 628 (murdered by his son)
Richard Pafraet, 1512 (I have a lot of respect for Dutch printers)
Ferdinand van Apshoven de Jongere, 1694 (another Flemish painter, and this is also cool because it is the year Voltaire was born!)
Reginald Heber, 1826
Jesse James, 1882 (isn't it sad that one of Missouri's claims to fame is their top notch outlaw?)
Johannes Brahms, 1897 (This guy is mos def on my stud list)
Paul Geisler, 1919
Bruno Hauptmann, convicted Lindbergh baby killer, 1936 (executed)
Theodor Kramer, 1958
Joseph Valachi, 1971
Pinky Lee, 1993 (holy cow, what a name)
Frank G Wells, 1994 (first person to say what company he worked for gets a prize)

And random cool fun things that happened today in history:
Edward the Confessor crowned king of England, 1043
Gunpowder in church explodes killing 4,000 in Rhodos, 1856
Hawaiian surfs on highest wave ever, he rides a 50' tidal wave, 1868 (I couldn't find his name anywhwere, whoever tells me gets a prize for that too!)
Hockey game requires a 1:44:46 overtime as Maple Leaf Ken Doraty scores to beat Canadiens 1-0, 1993 (It was the longest game in history at the time, but has since lost that claim)
1st airplane flight over Mt Everest, 1933
Al Carr KOs Lew Massey on 1 punch, :07 of 1st round, 1936 (still the shortest boxing match ever)
Churchill warns Stalin of German invasion, 1941
Hengelo freed from nazi control by Canadian army, 1945 (since when does Canada have an army?!?)
Harry Truman signs Marshall Plan, 1948
Don Perry climbs a 20' rope in under 2.8 seconds (AAU record), 1954
Beatles hold top 6 spots on Sydney Australia record charts, 1964
Bobby Fischer stripped of world chess title for refusing to defend, 1975
Phila Flyers win record tying 20th straight NHL home game, 1976 (this one goes out to the Canuck)
Boston Bruin Jean Ratelle scores his 1,000th NHL point, 1977
Arnie Boldt of Saskatchewan jumped 6' 8.25," with 1 leg, 1981
Buffalo Sabre Gil Perrault scores his 1,000th NHL point, 1982
Guinea suspends constitution after coup, 1984
Vic Elliot pocketed 15,780 pool balls in 24 hours in London, 1985
US national debt hits $2,000,000,000,000, 1986
Mario Lemieux wins NHL scoring title, stopping Gretzky's 7 year streak, 1988
NJ Devils beat Blackhawks, 4-3 in OT to join playoffs for 1st time, 1988 (stupid Devils)
Thomas Bos skates world record 3 km (3:65.16), 1991

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.
Adlai E. Stevenson Jr. (1900 - 1965), Speech during 1952 Presidential Campaign
I would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave.
E. M. Forster (1879 - 1970), as a small child
Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information on it.
Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)
It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it.
Arnold Toynbee (1889 - 1975)
Only in your imagination can you revise.
Fay Wray

so yah. i think that was the longest email ive ever written, and that was tiring, and it took me a lot longer than usual and im going to go watch and/or listen to GC now. talk to you later, eh.

Eat PB&J Today

Hey there, i decided im going to write a personal email to you today, disregard all the other names on the "send to" list. today is Children's Book Day, National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day, National Walk To Work (or class) Day, and Reconciliation Day. that should be a bundle o' fun. i dont have any children's books though. last night i started reading a book about children, i suppose that might count. Yah, read Ender's Game, it is one of the coolest books ever written, thats why ive read it roughly seven times now. holy smokes, what a book.

So yesterday i decided to give a reward to whoever guessed the band who wrote this line: "I love the rain, it knows my pain, i'm so insane cuz i love the rain." And the winner is Kelv Cutler, and on his birthday too! so congrats kelv. I hate your guts.

Happy Birthday to:

Charlemagne (742), Francesco M Grimaldi (1618), Hans Christian Andersen (1805), Irene Mayer Selznick (1910), Alec Guinness (1914), Jack Webb (1920), Michael Rizzello (1926), Leon Russell (1941, carny!), Dana Carvey (1955), Jenny Craig (1971), and probably some other people as well.

Happy Deathday to:

Boudouin I, 1st crusader/king of Jerusalem (1118), Ferdinand III, Hungarian/Bohemia/German Emperor (1657), Hieronymus van Alphen (1803), Charles Felix, blind King of Sardina (1831), Simon Barere, pianist, died while perfoming at Carnegie Hall (1951), Jean Epstein (1953), Buddy Rich (1987), Tomoyuki Tanaka, producer of Godzilla (1997)

And today in history:

Gerbert of Aurillac elected as 1st French Pope (999), Congress establishes Philadelphia mint (1792), 1st performance of Ludwig von Beethoven's 1st Symphony in C (1800), H L Fizeau & J Leon Foucault take 1st photo of Sun (1845, once again, i think i may have dreamed of these people before, i was either asleep or very close to being so when i heard this), Victoria Woodhull is 1st woman to be nominated for US pres (1870), Jeannette Rankin becomes 1st women member of US House of Reps (1917), Teenage girl strikes out Babe Ruth & Lou Gehrig in an exhibition game in Chattanooga (1931), Charles Lindbergh turns over $50,000 as ransom for kidnapped son (1932), Dmitri Shostakovitch's 8th Symphony, premieres in NY (1944), Military coup in Brazil by Gen Castello Branco, Pres Goulart ousted (1964), Mont Canadiens set NHL record of 34 straight home games without a lose (1977), Fleetwood Mac's "Rumors," album goes to #1 & stays #1 for 31 weeks (1977), battle between Chris tian militia & Syrian army in East Lebanon (1981), 1st test flight of Fokker 70 (1993), Brian writes this email (2004)

And today's Canadian history: (the reason i do this comes from the following quote: Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States." -J. Bartlett Brebner. well ok, so it doesnt really fit, but whatever.)

First lottery opens (1967), Kurt Winter was born (1946, name that band, and you might win a prize!!), Stable fire kills 69 horses, worst racetrack fire in Canadian history (1992), Wayne Gretzky the first teenaged NHLer to score 50 goals in a season (1980), Wandering Spirit massacres 9 white settlers and Metis at Frog Lake; takes one man and two women prisoner (1885), Torontonians hold public street ox roast (weirdos) to celebrate Queen Victoria's marriage to Prince Albert (1840)

And im going to throw in some random quotes today, i think i skipped two days worth of quotes, so be prepared for a lot of good stuff.

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.
Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885)
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) oh ye of little faith...
Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.
H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.
Joan Klempner
People with courage and character always seem sinister to the rest.
Hermann Hesse (1877 - 1962)
Good taste is the worst vice ever invented.
Edith Sitwell (1887 - 1964)
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC)
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
Philip K. Dick (1928 - 1982)
You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
Carl Jung (1875 - 1961)
The higher the buildings, the lower the morals.
Noel Coward (1899 - 1973)
When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
Brendan Behan (1923 - 1964)
The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)
Only exceptionally rational men can afford to be absurd.
Allan Goldfein
No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it.
Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000)
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
So it finally rained, for which i am very glad. the static flying around through the air was killing me. it made me all jittery, or that might actually have been my consumption of Red Creme Soda Floats (the best thing the canc has to offer). but the static was really starting to get on my nerves. my hair looked horrible all day, and there was nothing i could do about it. actually i could have, but i chose not to so that i could complain about static. but today my hair looks better than it has in a long time. i feel sexier today than i have in at least a week and a half. i am looking particularly good today, feel free to check me out. So thats about all i have for today. i hope you all have a wonderful day, and make sure to do something fun, thats why we're here, right?

Gadzookery!

-To all you Rexburgians, i talked to Kelv this morning and we decided that it might be best if we didnt come up next weekend. we've got stuff going on and i have a paper due the monday that we would get back, and all kinds of the hassles involved right before finals. so we were thinking maybe after our finals are over we could make a stop, but we wanted to check on when your finals are. meighan (and others), dont kill us please!


Gadzookery is the use of archaic words and phrases, but im not going to do any of that today. i believe in the present and nothing but. i believe that static electricity has kidnapped my brain and replaced it with one of those little glass balls so that whenever you touch it the electricity inside comes and meets your finger. i say this because every time i do anything i shock myself. when i was changing my shirt last night, it was so full of static that it shocked every square inch of my torso as it came off. it was rather painful. and right now, my hair is standing nearly on end, and im having trouble keeping my eyes open. its all because of this storm thats (still) about to roll in. i wish it would hurry up and dump and lightning and thunder us. "i love the rain, it knows my pain. im so insane cuz i love the rain" first person to email me the name of the band who sang that gets a special prize. i decline from saying what the prize is because it would be a different one for each person. some people i would reward a hug, others a jamba juice, etc. but as i dont know who will win it, i will just decide the prize after i know who the winner is. but i can at least say its something you will enjoy. none of this "im going to call a kick in the pants a prize" crap.

Sooo, today is Yad sdrawkcaB, and i thought the balloons in the cannon center were very clever. very clever indeed. you should come check them out if you havent yet. and obviously all you non-Provoites are exempt. dont feel bad though, you have it better off in more ways than one. But you can still celebrate International Tatting Day. And today is the start of Library Week!!!!! and also Read a Road Map Week, but who really wants to do that. Library Week is where its at. I've made it my goal to read "the definitive record of the English language" but that will most likely take me much much much more than a week. i think to get through all 23 volumes of the OED would take months at least. but i will do it eventually.

And for birthdays:
Kelv Cutler, 1785
Otto Von Bismarck, 1815
Walter Kaufmann, 1907
Toshiro Mifune, 1920 (Shogun)
Jane Powell, 1928 (7 Brides for 7 Brothers)
Debbie Reynolds, 1932
Don Hastings, 1934 (CAPTAIN VIDEO!!!)
Phil Margo, 1942 (name that band!)
Gill Scott-Heron, 1949 (Stud List all the way!)
Peter O'Toole, 1956 (not the actor, this is the bassist for Irish rock group Hothouse Flowers, check 'em out!)

And deaths for this day:
Gillis van Valkenborch, 1611 (The world needs more Flemish painters, all the ones i've seen so far are on the death list...)
Patrick Gass, 1870 (Sgt. of Lewis & Clark expedition thingy)
Scott Joplin, 1917
Zawditu, 1st reigning female monarch of Ethiopia, 1930
Frederick Lord Chelmsford, 1933
Mikhail Vladimirovich Ivanov-Boretsky, 1936
Hippolyte Delehaye, 1941 (There goes another Flemish historian, we lost one the other day, too)
Freddie Lennon, 1976 (John's daddy)
Robert Doisneau, 1994

Where are Flemish people from, anyway? its the Netherlands, right?

And on this day in history:
Halleys comet passes within 0.0884 AUs of Earth, 374
Justinianus (<--Stud List material right here, I did a project on him once. well not on top of him, i meant he was the topic) becomes Emperor of Byzantium (now Turkey, Iran etc.) 527
Ruins of Pompeii found, 1748 (I'm going to live there someday and i will speak Italian. Heather, are you going to Pompeii this summer? that would be totally cool!)
Volcano Unsen on Japan erupts killing about 53,000, 1793 (I'm going to live here too)
Charles Darwin aboard HMS Beagle reaches Cocos Islands, 1836
Cincinnati became 1st US city to pay fire fighters a regular salary, 1853 (its a good thing too, firemen deserve it!)
Hampton Institute opens, 1868
Louie Marx introduces Yo-Yo, 1929
Bonnie & Clyde kill 2 police officers, 1934 (I absolutely love this movie, everyone go check it out, right now!)
Big Bang theory proposed in Physical Review by Alpher, Bethe & Gamow, 1952 (these names sound familiar, almost as if i heard them in a dream. i wouldnt be at all surprised...)
World's biggest glass oven used, 1957
1st British ombudsman sir Edward Compton begins work, 1967 (I've always wanted to be an ombudsman)
John & Yoko release hoax they are having dual sex change operations, 1970
Japan allows its citizens to own gold, 1973 (I didn't know that they couldnt)
Wayne Gretzky breaks Bobby Orr's record with 103rd assist, 1980
Guns & Roses' Duff divorces Mandy Brix, lead singer for Lame Flames, 1990
Ultimate Warrior beats Hulk Hogan, 1990
Warsaw Pact officially dissolves, 1991
NHL players begin 1st strike in 75-year history, 1992 (very scary to imagine a world without hockey)
Billy Idol fined $2,000 for hitting a woman, 1992
NY Islanders retire Bobby Nystrom's uniform #23, 1995
69 year old Gordie Howe begins playing AHL game with Syracuse Crunch, 1997
My failed lame attempt at a good april fool's joke, 2004 (if you didn't notice, its in the birthday list. and its okay, that wasnt the only trick i have planned for today, i can do better than that)

right now im missing class. i got up at 6:45ish because my alarm (the sun) was going off (or i guess it went on...) and then i thought i had time to write this but apparently i didn't, so here i am typing away. im not listening to dr. pope, and that kind of makes me feel a little better about skipping class. ahhh, no American Heritage, or AmerHer or AmHtg or Giant American Pep Rally or whatever other name you've heard for it! im free! so im going to sign off now. good luck everyone on april fool's day. be witty and on your guard, and may the farce be with you